


The Life of Katherine Grant

by mamahl9711



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I'm not sure why this is so angsty, Mutual Pining, and some more angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 03:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12645636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamahl9711/pseuds/mamahl9711
Summary: Cat learns how to lean on a friend.Or, I apparently like to write vulnerable Cat, so here's some more.





	The Life of Katherine Grant

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Other than the angst. That's my fault.
> 
> One-shot

On a normal day, Cat misses Kara as her assistant but understands that no mere mortal can be as forgiving or competent as Kara was.  Cat knows that objectively, Eve is a fine assistant.  Good, even.  So, on most days, even though Cat misses Kara’s attentiveness, she is able to put those thoughts in the back of her mind. 

Today is not most days, however.  Today is a day where Cat feels the world fall from beneath her at Eve’s words, and there is no one to catch her.  Eve just stands there, unsure of how to act.  She doesn’t speak, and, for once, Cat doesn’t know what to say.  Eve’s words just keep echoing in her head over and over and over again.  Eventually, her assistant leaves the room, and Cat pours herself a generous glass of whiskey, drinking it at the bar, knowing that she’ll pour herself another as soon as it is empty.

Once she feels the liquor coursing through her veins, Cat makes her way to the balcony.  She doesn’t want to be on display in her glass box today.  She doesn’t even realize she’s been crying until she feels the breeze hit the wet tracks on her face.  And there are Eve’s words again reverberating through her mind.  Cat is at a complete loss for what happens next.  I mean, loosely she knows what to do, who to call, how to handle everything.  She knows how this is supposed to work, logistically, but she is still unsure how she is supposed to proceed.  How she can be expected to proceed when her heart is breaking for a woman who never truly loved her. 

She hears someone open the sliding glass door, and aside from her sons who are definitely not in her office, she can’t think of anyone she wants to see in this moment.  Angry that her assistant or some blowhard in a suit would be bold enough to encroach on her privacy, Cat is ready to pounce.  But when she turns around, Cat is met with blue eyes filled with concern and pulled into a crushing hug that she had no idea how badly she needed.  Cat hears someone sobbing, and it takes her a minute to realize that the person sobbing is her.  She feels Kara lead her somewhere, and then, they’re sitting down, but she has yet to leave Kara’s strong embrace, allowing herself to be weak for once. 

Eventually, she stops shaking.  The world stops spinning.  She can feel the ground beneath her feet once more.  Reluctantly, she pulls out of Kara’s arms and sits up.  She can’t meet Kara’s eyes.  Not yet.  But then, Kara’s hand is on her cheek, wiping away a stray tear, and Cat can’t stop herself from looking at the woman next to her. 

“Cat, what’s going on?”  Kara speaks softly, worry evident in her voice.  Cat remains silent as her new assistant’s words fill her ears again.  “Eve said you weren’t okay, but she didn’t elaborate.  I – What can I do to help?” 

When Cat found her voice once more, it was quiet and raspy from crying.  “She’s dead.  My mother… Eve got a call, and – and… she’s dead.” 

Cat’s mad at herself for feeling so much and so little all at once over the death of her mother.  The woman who she avoided at all costs because each time she heard how much a disappointment she was, it somehow hurt more than the last.  Why was she suddenly devastated over the loss of this overbearing, heartless figure in her life?  How could she think of her own mother in those words, especially now?  Cat has never been good with her emotions, and now is certainly no exception.  It’s like she feels everything and nothing at once, and she has no idea what to do.

Kara’s watching her, unsure how to act.  Unlike Eve, however, Kara isn’t looking for an escape.  Instead, she stays and waits.  Waits and watches for some indication of what Cat needs, whether it’s a shoulder to cry on – again – or someone to spring into action and take over all of the tasks that Cat is most certainly dreading.  One thing is certain, Kara is not leaving.  Just that thought alone brings tears to Cat’s eyes once more. 

“Why am I like this?” she asks, not really expecting an answer. 

“Because you’re human,” Kara responds after a moment.  “Because you are able to feel the depths of your emotions and be vulnerable, but Cat, just like you’ve told me before, it’s not a bad thing.  You are the strongest woman I have ever met, and the one thing I know for sure is that you’ll get through this.  We’ll get through this.”  Kara pulled Cat closer.  “You’re not alone."

It’s in that moment that Cat realizes how deeply in love she is with the woman next to her.  She’s always been drawn to Kara, both her everyday persona and Supergirl.  She’s known there was something there, but it isn’t until now, when her defenses are down and she allows herself to feel the brunt of her emotions that she realizes just how much and for how long she’s loved this woman.  The thought makes her want to cry even more.

Because, as much as Cat loves Kara, she knows she can’t.  She knows that it would ruin everything.  She knows that even though the prospect of facing the reality of her mother’s death without Kara seems impossible, she has to do it alone.  She needs to pull herself together and walk away from this, from Kara.  Cat feels a wave of nausea at the thought of leaving the other woman’s embrace, and she realizes that she isn’t strong enough to do what she truly needs to do.   

“I don’t know what to do,” Cat whispers because nothing has ever been so true.  She’s never been one to rely on others, but everything seems so impossible right now.  She hasn’t felt this lost since her father passed away, but she was just a child at the time.  Her mother handled everything without ever shedding a tear.  Cat wishes she were that strong, that unfeeling and resilient. 

Kara stays silent for a while, mindlessly rubbing circles on Cat’s back in an attempt to help her calm down.  “Here’s what you do.  You’ll call and make arrangements for the wake.  You’ll set an appointment for some time tomorrow, and we will deal with the rest then.  I’ll have Eve clear your schedule while you’re on the phone.  Stay out here on the balcony, and get some fresh air.  Then, I’ll take you home, and we’ll figure out the rest as we go.  Okay?”  Kara is assertive but not rude.  She waits for Cat’s approval before springing into action, but with a nod of Cat’s head, she’s gone back through the office to speak with Eve.  

Cat looks down at her phone.  Kara must have handed it to her, but she doesn’t remember.  She dials the number that’s already pulled up on the keypad, wondering how it got there.  When a meek voice answers, she does exactly as Kara told her to do, as if on autopilot.  She doesn’t remember what she says exactly, but she’s coherent enough to add the appointment into her phone so it’s not forgotten. 

She’s only off the phone for a few moments before Kara is back on the balcony, closing the door behind her.  She is carrying Cat’s coat and purse.  “Did you call a car for us?” Cat asks.

“No,” Kara replies.  “We don’t need one.  Here,” she hands Cat the coat.  “Put this on.  I don’t want you to get cold.”  Cat is confused but does as she’s told.  “How are we –“ 

Cat immediately stops speaking as Kara suddenly uses a burst of super speed to change from Kara Danvers to Supergirl before her eyes.  If she wasn’t so sad and tired, she would be in awe.  She would gloat about being right.  She would be thrilled that Kara finally gave in and proved her right.  Instead, Cat just loops her arms around the hero’s neck, and she feels herself being lifted into Kara’s arms. 

Kara looks down at Cat, a sad smile on her face.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Cat shifts so she’s lying against Kara’s chest.  “You didn’t have to, Kara.  I always knew.”  And, Cat realizes she’s never been more comfortable in her life.  Even with the prospect of flying high above National City, she feels herself relaxing into Kara’s hold. 

Without warning, Kara slowly takes off, making her way toward Cat’s penthouse balcony, and Kara is embarrassed to realize she’s just as familiar with this balcony as she is with the one at CatCo.  Maybe even more so.  Consciously or not, Kara always patrols past the blonde’s residence, just to make sure all is well.  She always scans the balcony for the other woman, not wanting to miss an opportunity to confide in the other woman.  For some reason, it is always easier to be Supergirl around Cat than it is to be Kara Danvers.  Maybe this is because Supergirl is closer to being on a level playing field with Cat than Kara will ever be. 

As they approach the balcony, Kara slowly lowers her feet to the ground.  Cat’s arms are still wrapped around her neck, and she never wants the blonde to let go, but she knows she must, so Kara slowly sets Cat down and feels the arms around her neck disappear. 

Neither of them speak for what seems like forever.  Kara doesn’t know what Cat needs, and she doesn’t want to overstep her bounds.  What she wants more than anything is to stay with Cat, make her dinner, and hold her until she falls asleep.  But, Kara is barely even a friend.  She can’t imagine that Cat wants her to stick around. 

But, Cat does want Kara to stick around.  More than anything.  Kara is the only one who Cat wants in this moment, but she also knows that she can’t have her in the way she wants.  She tries to thank the other woman and send her on her way.  These words don’t come when Cat speaks, though.  Instead, Cat hears herself quietly plead.

“Please, stay?” 


End file.
